Top 5 comedian crushes
I’m a little sheepish to admit but I think I’m missing a gene. The ‘I love Ryan Gosling’ gene that seems to be compulsory within my generation (or all generations really). I mean I get it. I do. And I wouldn’t push him out of bed either. But given the choice between him and a funny man, and I’m going with a guy who can make me giggle any day.
At the moment, that means American sweetheart (you’ve got to see This is the End) Jonah Hill. Yes, given the totally likely scenario, I would choose Jonah Hill over Ryan Gosling. I’d be all coy and pretend like I’d never really heard of him, bond with him over our joint love for music, and we’d inevitably end up getting married to the sweet sounds of Jagged Edge – with Seth Rogen as the best man (obvs). Not that I’ve thought about it at all or anything….
But Jonah isn’t the only funny man I have eyes for. There are other comedians that tickle more than just my funny bone (too far?). Let’s do this:
It seems like there are two types of girls in the world; the Brad Pitt girls and the Johnny Depp girls. I however, don’t fall in either category, because I am in fact a Jerry Seinfeld girl. I whole heartedly love that sneaker-wearing son-of-a-bitch and have ever since I watched his show in primary school religiously at 7pm every night. For me he’s the ultimate in funny and good times. While many write him off as a ‘did you ever notice this, did you ever notice that’ comedian, it’s his delivery of his observations that makes him so genius. He never swears or makes offensive claims – but tap dances around life’s taboos. And what a dance it is to watch. Even in his old and uber-rich days, I still can’t get enough of him and his online show Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. Because despite all the fame, he still just seems like the nicest guy. I can’t ever imagine him being rude or mean. To use his comedy to describe him, he’s just walkin around and lookin around. Oh and drivin around. The fact that he collects cool cars is a total turn on too.
To some, Louis Ck may just be an old, overweight, balding ranga, but in my eyes he’s one of the most interesting, intelligent and hilarious men around. His standup is probably some of the best the world has seen since the inimitable Bill Hicks (RIP). His awareness of the world is incredible, his story about his daughter getting bitten by a pony never ceases to make my laugh so much that my ribs hurt, and I love how he happily admits to wanting to fuck all the women in the world (it gives me hope). Plus he has the cutest smile, as discovered when he stared as Leslie Knope’s policeman love interest in Parks and Recreation! In short, yes I would totally go there with him. When him and Jerry talk about comedy with Ricky Gervais and Chris Rock – now that’s my kinda porn.
I don’t think I’m alone in finding Will Arnett sexy. There’s just something about him isn’t there? Maybe it’s his hair line, his dreamy green eyes, his smooth voice, the way his mouth moves? Whatever it is, I dig it. In Up All Night, Parks and Rec, Blades of Glory and of course, as everyone’s favour magician in Arrested Development. While my crush for Arnett is enduring, given the chance I would never act upon it. Not because of not wanting, but because his ex-wife Amy Poehler is my home gurl and I totally abide by the girl code of ethics. Ovaries before brovaries.
This was a tricky one to decide. I was tossing up between Arj Barker, Brett from Flight of the Conchords and even Vince Vaughn, and then an ad for Gap Year came on the TV and it was decided – Hamish Blake. Despite everyone favouring Andy in the looks department, to me Hamish is the clear pick of the pair. Who wants the straight man when the funny one is still such a cutie? He’s the kinda kid who I would have been a total sucker for at school. The class room jokester who would do anything for a cheeky laugh. Who am I kidding? I still dig that shit. Hamish, if things don’t end up working with that awesome wife of yourx Zoe Foster (which is highly unlikely because she’s pretty awesome) – call me. Winky face.
Fat, skinny, hairy, shaven, funny or serious. As a kid with a Jew fro trying to get laid, as an undercover policeman back at school or as a maths geek trying to help a losing team win the world series – I love Jonah Hill however I can get him. Even when he plays ‘himself’ amongst a sea of stars, I’ve only got eyes for that blue eyed kid. I’m super excited to see him star alongside Leo in The Wolf of Wall Street. Until then I’ll just continue to giggle over his hilarious Woody Harrelson impersonation and fawn over the fantastic facial expressions he pulls in his bring-a-smile-to-your-dial animated gifs.